Iam not sure about anyone else, but I’m the kind of person who doesn’t like to give up easily. Once I start something, I like to follow through and finish it – no matter how hard it may get. I would rather know that I’ve done my best and have tired all options; compared to walking away at the first sight of trouble. I’ve done this in every single aspect of my life; school, work and in this case, relationships. However, sometimes you have to accept the fact that there is nothing else for you to do – and you have to let yourself walk away from a bad situation before it gets worse.
In relationships, it’s common to bicker sometimes. Whether it’s because someone didn’t do the dishes, or another one said something really uncalled for during a fight – couples argue sometimes. It happens, and this is not me saying that if you fight with your significant other then you need to leave. I’m completely well aware that there are couples who are able to fight through their arguments and have communicated effectively enough to be able to learn from the incident, and move on. I give credit to those couples. I’m jealous of those couples. I wish I could have been one of those couples. But after a certain amount of time, you realize that you’re doing more crying then smiling and you need to take a step back.
After having my heart torn into pieces after an on and off seven year relationship, I finally was able to find love again with another man. This love felt different. At first, it felt good. It was new, strong, and mature. It felt like this is what consistent-adult love was supposed to feel like. It felt great to know that I was able to feel love again for someone and to feel loved in return. But what seemed to be my first “grown-up” love, ended up being the first time I truly walked away – and that was something that was not easy for me to do.
Out of respect for my past significant other, I’ll keep the details brief. The relationship became very toxic very quick. Every day was a new fight, every night was spent with our backs to each other, and every girl whom I saw in his messages made me feel weak. While he may disagree, I fought for a very long time to get us to be okay. I spoke my mind, and was made out to be crazy. I stood up for myself and was told that I overreacted. I expressed my unhappiness in an attempt to fix us, and was told to walk away. So one day, I did.
I was told endlessly by my ex and his family that I should not have walked out when “things got rough.” That I should know that in relationships, there are fights that you work to overcome if you truly love someone. But is love always enough? For me, it wasn’t love anymore. It was control. It was demeaning. It was unfaithful. It was broken. I was broken – and so, I left. To this day, it is probably the bravest thing I’ve ever done.
As a person who always fights to keep things in a good standing, leaving my relationship was one of the hardest things. I felt as if I had given up. I felt like a failure because I couldn’t fix us. I felt lost because I let a man make me feel as if I had no worth. I felt defeated because I let this situation bring me back to a low point. But once I left, I felt good about my decision. I felt strong that I was able to realize how unhealthy things were and I was able to remove myself from the situation. I felt relieved that I wasn’t crying myself to sleep at night anymore. I felt like I could finally breathe.
While walking away from a significant other may be hard, sometimes it’s what you need. It’s okay to recognize that a relationship is not good for you. It doesn’t mean that you leave when things get rough. It doesn’t mean that you run away. It means that you know your worth as a person, and you know what you deserve. It means that you are strong and brave. It means that you are giving yourself a chance to finally be happy – and that is something that every person should have a right to feel.