Loving Yourself Isn’t Vanity, It’s Sanity

Gaining perspective on why self-love is so important to women and their health.

Some women find themselves to be their own worst critic. Whether it’s visiting social media platforms to compare themselves to other women or looking in the mirror and picking apart every physical attribute that they have. It’s a constant fight that always seems one sided. The question is – are women ever going to be able to win this inner battle? Lifestyle blogger and life coach, De’Yanna George, says women struggle with fully embracing themselves because they subconsciously fear others judgement and what they may think.

It’s always been an uphill battle for women to embrace their unique imperfections. Instead of accepting what they have, they focus on what they don’t have. They feel pressured to fit in society by trying to mirror what the “ideal woman” should be. But who is to say what represents the ideal woman? Society undermines what self-worship and self-appreciation truly is. The discussion at hand is who is to blame for this infliction upon women? Society or ourselves?

“Sometimes, we are the ones blocking ourselves from the acceptance we deserve because we compare ourselves instead of acknowledging and celebrating our individuality,” George says.

We have to wake up and realize that we are human goddesses. Loving ourselves is not the slightest bit selfish. George says, if we didn’t take the time out of our day to self-care for ourselves, how can we show up for others as our greatest self. The answer is, we can’t. We can’t pour from an empty cup. How can we expect to love others if we can’t love ourselves?

Some women more than others can say they are guilty of self-criticism. They set themselves up for failure with unrealistic goals and expectations. These behaviors can be deemed toxic and can have a significant impact on our physical and mental health. “I believe it’s impossible to genuinely be happy if you don’t love yourself,” De’Yanna shared.  “We have to have a solid relationship with ourselves before we can establish relationships with others.”

We can’t expect to receive love and respect from others if we aren’t willing to offer it to ourselves. In order for us to mentally and physically take care of ourselves, we have to respect and love who we are from the inside out. We have to unapologetically be who we are and celebrate that there’s only ONE of us.

Self-love isn’t taught in the classroom. It’s not a common “mother, daughter” talk. So how can we begin emerging ourselves into giving and receiving the love that we deserve?

In The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, he identifies five ways in which we can gain and receive love.

1: Words of Affirmation.

According to Psychology Today, the purpose behind affirmations is to rewrite our subconscious mind. This language allows us to challenge and overcome our self sabotage and negative thoughts. When we instill positive thoughts and repeat them, we find ourselves starting to believe them. Reminder: we should be focusing on what we do have rather than what we don’t have.

  1. Acts of Service.

A great way to feel good about who we are is giving back. However, we have to remind ourselves that we shouldn’t expect something in return. Reminder:  we should avoid unrealistic expectations.

  1. Physical Touch.

Physical health is just as important as mental health. Go to the gym, go for a walk, stretch. Have a big, healthy breakfast with lots of protein. Our body is our vessel! Practice loving every part of it.

  1. Receiving Gifts.

Buying a gift for ourselves or treating ourselves to a mani/pedi is the most necessary, selfish thing to do. Instead of being a futuristic or being stuck in the past, worry about being in the present! We should treat ourselves because we are badass women who continue to evolve and grow every day.

  1. Quality Time.

A mentor of my mine once said, “time is the best compliment you can give someone because you can never get it back.” Take some time to yourself and do something you love! Whether it’s going on a shopping spree, reading a book, meditating, going out for drinks, or going on a mini vacation. Take some quality time to really get to know who you are. No one deserves YOUR time more than YOU!

The 5 love languages are known for building, maintaining and evolving relationships. Putting these languages to practice can strengthen the relationships we have with ourselves.

Self-love is an ongoing journey. I have yet to meet a woman who doesn’t lack confidence in some way. The first step to loving ourselves is becoming aware. We have to know that we all have flaws and have things we don’t like about ourselves. We have to know that THOSE exacts flaws make up who we are. It brings the individuality out in us. Instead of beating ourselves down, we have to practice becoming mentally stronger.

If you need a push to get started, that’s why I’m here. You are beautiful! You are a BAD ASS! You can and you will. Believe and you shall receive.

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha

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